Today Loretta Bouillon is here sharing about one little routine that has made a big difference in her marriage.
Marriage has changed me. In a world where it is the norm to try out marriage, and then if it doesn’t work, move on to the acceptable option of divorce, it is the also the norm to expect your spouse to meet your needs. This is not case in God’s eyes. We, as wives, are to be a blessing to our husbands.
Over the years, I have learned that the more I give of myself to my husband, the more peaceful our marriage is. God created the wife to be the husband’s helpmeet and anything contrary to that will cause friction in your marriage.
Being the typical woman, I have a need to talk and share my feelings. My husband has a very high profile, stressful job. When he comes home, he cannot deal with one more problem. He needs to come home to a smile, peace and rest. Here lies the challenge:
I have just had a busy day homeschooling my children. I have sorted out bills, driven kids to extra-curricular activities, done laundry, housework, bathed the dog, fed the horse, prayed for a distraught friend and prepared dinner. I am usually “done” by the time he walks in the door. It is natural for me to want to tell him everything, all my hardships, my successes, and to have him express appreciation for all of my tedious work.
However, he is exhausted and needs to shut his eyes for half an hour and then perhaps go outside and do something physical. He does not NEED to talk to me about his day right away. He certainly does not need to hear about my problems!
Eventually, I came up with a plan that really works. I force myself to stop and have a coffee break late afternoon. I sit in my lazy boy chair, read a magazine, write in my journal or pray. I recharge! After that I do a quick tidy up (I mean quick—the front entrance and the coffee table area where he will be) just so he doesn’t walk into the chaos of the day. On a good day (most days I really try to do this) I will fix myself up a bit. I comb my hair, touch up my makeup, even change my shirt if necessary.
I greet him with a kiss and a smile. I ask him how his day went (and it is his choice whether to tell me or not, but the point is just to put HIM first and not tell him how MY day went). I get him a glass of water and let him rest. I do not approach anything that needs discussion until after dinner and even then I try to be sensitive to the day he has had.
I admit, not every day looks like this but I do try. It is amazing how much peace this little formula brings! God wants us to bring our burdens to Him not our husbands. I am not saying we should not share our burdens with our husbands, but I have come to realize that God wants to be my EVERYTHING not my husband. Only God can fill the desires of my heart. If we can become a blessing to our husbands then we will be blessed. That’s how it works.
Loretta Bouillon is a homeschooling mother of three wonderful teenagers. She also loves to write blog posts, magazine articles and devotions, particularly about the amazing life that God has given her. Her most current project is a teen parenting book. She has a blog titled “Life with My Teens… and all their amazing friends.”