Ask my husband or me how we’re doing these days, and you’re likely to get an answer along the lines of “we’re busy.” We’re trying to juggle the tasks of parenting two little girls while we’re both in school plus volunteering and working part-time. It’s not easy.
In the midst of all that busyness, I’ve come to realize that we need to be as deliberate about building our marriage relationship as we are about building our careers. When one of us is out most nights of the week, it can be hard to find time to spend together, yet that is critical for our relationship.
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Gary Chapman’s new marriage resource, Life Promises for Couples: God’s Promises for You and Your Spouse offers brief snippets of advice along with Scripture promises. This book is small enough to fit into a purse or coat pocket and can be dipped into at any page (or any Scripture, if you want to use the index at the back of the book).
Each chapter is short but to the point, giving concrete suggestions for improving your relationship. Some of the chapters that spoke to me were those on communication.
Chapman talks about the importance of revealing ourselves to our spouses and of letting our spouses know what we feel (rather than making them guess about why we are upset). I’ve come to realize that I’m not very good at doing that. When I do take the risk to share my thoughts and emotions with my husband, I feel much closer to him. Being busy is a good way to avoid communication, so we need to be deliberate about finding time just to talk with each other.
I heartily agree that “whether you are a young couple just starting out or you’ve just celebrated your 50th wedding anniversary, your marriage is sure to benefit from the timeless wisdom contained in this beautifully designed two-color gift book.”
Suggestions for reading Life Promises for Couples together:
- read a chapter in the morning while drinking your coffee or eating breakfast, before you start the day
- read a chapter in the evening, once the kids are in bed and you can relax with a glass of wine and some time to talk about your day
- buy two copies so you can each read on the go and then text / message each other about what jumped out at you
I’ve greatly appreciated Dr. Chapman’s wisdom in The Marriage You’ve Always Wanted and Happily Ever After. Life Promises for Couples provides bite-sized snippets of that same wisdom.
How do you and your spouse connect with each other? What helps you communicate about things that are important to you?
Life Promises for Couples was provided for review courtesy of Tyndale House Publishers; all opinions expressed are my own.
5 Comments
Ange – I’m also a big fan of Dr. Eggerichs. I recently got his devotional book based on his Love & Respect book (http://thekoalabearwriter.blogspot.com/2011/11/book-review-love-respect-experience-by.html) and enjoyed it. 🙂
donett – being flexible and taking advantage of communication opportunities is definitely a good idea. And as you say, sometimes the best times to talk can come by surprise. And yes, taking time to think about responses is often a good idea too. 🙂
Times for communication can come by surprise. Recently,I discovered my husband and I enjoy sharing while he is cooling down after a work out. I put my busy-ness aside, sit across from him with eye contact. Listening and sharing is great for both of us.
Communication and responses(on deep subjects) doesn’t come instanteously for all people. Learn to give your spouse time and space to think through their ‘loving’ response. You will both benefit.
Another great marriage resource on communication is Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggrichs. I love his pink and blue analogies, they really do make sense. Good for you for understanding marriage doesn’t just happen, it takes work and communication. 🙂 Easier said than done sometimes, right?
Heather – thanks for dropping by here! I also love comments. 🙂 And I agree with you about communication… it needs to be deliberate and distraction-free. It may seem like “nothing” happened in a day, but it still takes time to mull it over and share it with someone else. 🙂
Hi Koala
Thanks for dropping by my little blog project. Every comment is truly ppreciated.
As far as communication is concerned – my husband and I communicate best when the tv is shut off, the computers put away and we’re just sitting together reviewing our days.