Community for me has always meant finding a faith community. Before we moved to a new city or neighbourhood, I’d look on Google Maps for the closest Catholic church. When we moved to Victoria in 2010, I was excited to discover that there was a church less than a kilometre away that offered a student Mass every Sunday, as well as daily Mass on campus. We walked or biked to church a few times and joined the other students for social time after Mass.
When You Don’t Fit In at Church
However, as the year progressed, I began to feel that we weren’t quite in the right place. We were the only married students and the only students with children. While Sunshine (then age two) loved playing with the university students, I found it hard to make friends at church because my daily life as a student mom was so different from theirs. It also felt rather obvious whose children weren’t sitting quietly during Mass.
As the second semester began, I started suggesting that we find a more family-friendly Mass. My husband’s work schedule soon made it difficult for us to attend the afternoon student Mass, so we began attending other Masses around the city.
Finding Community through a Moms Group
When I saw a moms group listed in the Sunday bulletin of one church we attended, I almost whooped. Here was a place where we could belong! I could hardly wait for Wednesday morning to meet the other moms.
When we showed up, it was even better than I expected. A group of grandmas watched the children while the moms went upstairs for fellowship. The grandmas planned snacks, read stories, and played games with the kids. The women welcomed me warmly, and I felt an instant connection with them.
That first week, I just sat there, soaking up the feeling of being with other Catholic moms who faced the same questions and struggles that I did. As the weeks went on, Sunshine began talking about “my friends” at church and ran to give the grandmas a hug as soon as we arrived.
I found myself making the kind of close friends I’d had in our previous communities in Alberta. We shared our struggles with the monotony of motherhood, exchanged meal planning ideas, and commiserated about the difficulty of taking children to Mass.
Slowly, those friendships at Mass and moms group turned into friendships outside of church. We planned playdates and outings together. My daughters were invited to other children’s birthday parties and invited them to their own. Through these friendships, my community grew as I met even more like-minded Catholic women.
One day, as my husband and I drove out of the city for a family gathering of Catholic homeschoolers, he asked me how often I’d met the hosts before. Only twice, I said. But you know how you meet some people and feel like you’ve been friends forever? How you discover you have so many things in common that you could talk for a week without running out of things to say? That’s the kind of friendship I’d found through moms group.
Building Catholic Community after Another Move
In 2015, we moved to the Lower Mainland. A friend from my Victoria moms group introduced me to a friend of hers in Vancouver, who introduced me to two Catholic moms groups: the noisy, busy, kid-friendly group that met weekly at the Traditional Latin Mass parish, and a monthly support group for homeschool moms that met at another parish.
I joined both and instantly felt seen and heard. The women I met in those groups became long-term friends who also supported me through the hardest season of my life, a decade later, when my first marriage ended.
During the years I attended the TLM moms group, I continued to go to a more local church for Sunday Mass. Although we showed up week after week, we never made friends there.
The first church was a large, busy parish with a school attached. We were looked at sideways for homeschooling our children, and our wiggly children were frowned upon during Mass. That mattered less to me when I had my moms group every weekday, where my children were welcomed and the other moms understood the daily sacrifices of motherhood.
It also didn’t matter to the TLM moms or priest that I didn’t attend Sunday Mass there. The priest always greeted me by name and made it clear that we were welcome, however we wanted to show up. That meant a lot to me, especially as I felt excluded from other Catholic groups at various times.
Why Parish Mom’s Groups Matter
In our increasingly lonely society, where so many people feel isolated for different reasons, connection matters more than ever. The early Christian churches grew through word of mouth and by building communities that put faith into action. Christians supported one another and became Jesus’ hands and feet in the world. That’s one way the Church should continue to grow today, but too often, we miss opportunities to build those connections.
I’ve been in many churches where children didn’t seem welcome, where people arrived at Mass late and left early simply to fulfill their Sunday obligation, and where only retirees attended daily Mass. I’ve also been to parishes where priests accommodate wiggly children, people stay afterward for coffee and conversation, and parishioners make an effort to greet one another.
Part of building a Catholic community means meeting people where they are and recognizing what they need at different stages of life.
Motherhood is a joyous, beautiful season, but it also comes with sacrifices and struggles. In my moms groups, we’ve talked honestly about infertility, sleepless nights, children with support needs, miscarriages and stillbirth, burnout, meal planning, pregnancy, and so much more.
Sometimes, what’s most important is simply knowing that someone else has walked through the same experience and understands how hard it can be. Other times, we can offer practical support, such as organizing meal trains for new moms or families experiencing loss.
A Catholic moms group can be much more than a weekly coffee date or playgroup. It can become a place where mothers find friendship, encouragement, practical help, and a sense of belonging within their parish community. It can also be a place where children grow up knowing other Catholic families and building friendships rooted in faith.
How to Find a Catholic Moms Group
If you’re looking for a Catholic community where you and your children can connect with other families, start by checking your parish bulletin or asking at your local church about existing moms groups and family activities.
You can also visit Catholic Moms Group to see whether a parish near you hosts a moms group. If your parish doesn’t yet have a community for mothers or families, Catholic Moms Group offers resources to help you start a Catholic moms group.
Building community takes time, but sometimes all it takes is showing up one Wednesday morning and introducing yourself to another mom.
You might also enjoy reading about Creating Community, Part 1 and Creating Community, Part 2.
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