Over the last couple weeks, while I’ve been in Alberta visiting family and friends, I was able to leave Sunshine and Lily with my mom or mother-in-law a few times. My mom watched the girls while I want to a wedding and my mother-in-law had them while I was in Toronto.
It was lovely to have a break—to attend a wedding without keeping two preschoolers quiet, to run around the city with friends without getting three kids in and out of the truck at every stop, to travel “light” because I just had a baby with me. And yet… I missed the girls.
As I sat in my Toronto hotel one night after Skyping with the girls and their grandparents, I thought about how I’d looked forward to having a break and now I just wanted to have a hug from them. Being a mom is tough some days, especially if you are a single mom or if your husband works long hours or out of town. When my husband was studying for exams all day long just after Jade was born, I often thought it would be so nice if an adult would walk through the door at 5 pm to help answer Sunshine’s questions or break up the fights or hold the baby.
Other times, I feel guilty for saying I need a break. It’s as if my need for some “me” time means I don’t love my daughters (which isn’t true at all). I chose to be a stay-at-home-mom (and grew up wanting to do this), so why are there times now when I just want to get out of the house without kids?
That’s when I remind myself that being responsible for three other people is hard work. Loving them doesn’t make it easier to get my 3-year-old a cup of water while I’m changing the baby and trying to add 4+8+2 (endlessly) for my 5-year-old and looking at the laundry towering in the bin and wondering what to make for supper.
So if you’re a mom who needs a break, find a way to take it, whether it’s just an hour out with your girlfriends while your husband watches the kids or an afternoon away shopping while your mom takes the grandkids. Maybe it’s as simple as calling a friend while doing the laundry or putting a movie on for the kids so you can read a magazine or blog with some peace and quiet. Or maybe it means saving up a bit of extra money (somewhere in the budget) so you and your hubby can hire a babysitter for a date. And once in a while, it might mean a weekend away, like my Women of Faith weekend in Seattle two years ago or my research trip last week.
Do you feel like you sometimes need a break as a mom? How do you take one?
Psst… we finished our letters of the alphabet series. If you have preschoolers in the house, drop by to see what we did!
5 Comments
I am a firm believer in the parental break! I always come back better for it but I so know what you mean about missing the kids. It always feels “right” again when I return to my DD. It’s bitter sweet being a mom!
That’s so true about being a mom!! We have those moments where we strive for a much needed break, but then once we get it, all we do is miss them! LOL. I know that happens to me all the time 🙂
On August long I left to go to the Okanagan for 6 WHOLE days without my kid and husband. I felt lost BUT we need that. It makes us better moms to recharge.
I’m heading back down there in the middle of September with my husband but without my son for over 7 days. I’m getting sad just thinking about it, but we need a little vacay for the two of us.
I think all moms feel like you- we need a break, but once they are away we missed them. That’s part of being a mom. As they get older and more independent, it’s not as hard, but you still miss them:)
I was so sad that I couldn’t meet up with you and Serena for dinner in Toronto! *sad panda face*
I’m not a mom, but when I need a break from life, I turn off all the phones/computers/skype and set up a TV marathon of sorts with Rogers On Demand, lol.