Inheriting all of someone’s belongings can be overwhelming. What do you do with all their stuff? While there could be sentimental or useful items worth keeping, a lot of it is likely to be clutter. You probably don’t have space for all of it in your home, but it can’t stay in your loved one’s home either, so you need to be prepared to sort through it all soon.
Don’t panic – you don’t have to tackle it all alone in a day! By planning methodically and investing in the right help, you can make the process less stressful and more rewarding, all while continuing to honor your loved one’s memory.
Time It Right
Technically, there’s no “right” time to go through inherited belongings or sort through a loved one’s possessions after their passing. Some people find it better to go through it all immediately, while others prefer to give themselves time to grieve and mentally prepare first.
In most cases, it’s recommended that you do it in stages. Some people go room by room, while others break the task down into categories of items. By scheduling ahead this time, you can take it slowly without having to worry about other commitments.
For example, when my aunt and uncle passed away unexpectedly several years ago, I helped my mom and brother (the executors of the estate) go through their summer condo. This was about a month after they’d passed, but we needed to prepare the place for sale. Working on it together made it easier to do this; we were able to take breaks to share memories and to discuss what to do with particular belongings.
Sort By Action
A good way to tackle any kind of clutter is to sort by action. These 5 actions are:
- Keep
- Offer to friends/family
- Donate
- Sell
- Recycle/dispose
If you’re unsure about an item, you could consider placing it in a “decide later” pile, but it’s important that you revisit these items and don’t keep putting off your decision. Investing in some boxes and labeling them by action could be a good idea to keep things organized. If your loved one’s will specified that certain items should go to certain people, it may be easiest to find those items first and set them aside for those people.
When we went through my aunt and uncle’s condo, this was the system we used. There were items that each of us kept or bookmarked for certain other family members and friends. We hauled many boxes and bags of stuff off to the local thrift store. Some furniture and artwork was put aside to sell during the estate sale. Many things were recycled or simply thrown out.
Identify What Is Worth Keeping
Focus on keeping items that are truly sentimental, that you will genuinely use or that actually suit the style of your home. You can’t keep everything, so focus on a few meaningful and practical pieces. With furniture and large ornaments, consider taking photographs as keepsakes rather than keeping the items themselves.
When sorting my aunt and uncle’s place, I realized everything there meant something to them… but nothing to the rest of us. My aunt and uncle loved artwork and their condo was packed with paintings, statues, framed photos, and more. Many of these pieces had no meaning for us; the story behind the artwork had been lost with my aunt and uncle’s passing. We kept many of the useful kitchen gadgets for ourselves, and a few things that did have some sentimentality, but many things simply got passed on in various ways.
One thing I kept was my aunt and uncle’s music collection. A few years after their passing, I began going through the cases of cassette tapes, donating the Reader’s Digest collections. Then I found myself sitting on the floor, surrounded by tapes, in tears. I texted a friend (who was also decluttering at the time) that I know things are just things, but when things are all you have left of a loved one, it’s hard to let go. In the end, I kept the mix tapes my aunt and uncle had made, but donated all the other tapes.
Get Certain Items Professionally Valued
If something looks old, rare or high quality, consider getting it valued before you sell or donate. Prime examples of potentially valuable stuff includes jewelry, artwork, antiques, collectibles and furniture. An expert will tell you exactly how much an item is worth and the best way to sell it if it is worth a lot.
For my aunt and uncle’s estate, we had a professional estate auction company handle the furniture and artwork. They valued it all and handled the sale of the items. Unfortunately, artwork does not hold its value, and most pieces were worth much less now than when my aunt and uncle had purchased them.
Use Temporary Space
In instances where you may have to sell a loved one’s home imminently or move out belongings for new tenants, it’s worth looking into self storage. You can temporarily store items in a unit so that you’re not having to make rushed decisions as to what you throw away or give away or keep. Just make sure to keep it temporary – you will still need to go back and sort through these items.
Many of the items from my aunt and uncle’s estate are still in storage at my brother’s place. For example, I had requested one set of paintings from the estate, but didn’t have space until a few years ago to actually hang those paintings. Other things are also still waiting for a home or for us to have time to look at them again and make decisions about them.
Call in Help When You Need It
Consider teaming up with friends and family who also had a connection to your loved one so you can all tackle the task together. If you’ve decided what to keep, donate and sell and there is a lot left to dispose of, consider hiring a junk removal service to handle the rest for you.
As I mentioned, I helped my mom and brother clean up my aunt and uncle’s summer condo to prepare it for sale. My brother and a cousin went through their home. A lot of emails went back and forth between the eight family members who were left behind and inheriting the estate. Thankfully, we were all able to work together and to agree on who got what items, and what items were donated or sold.
Find meaningful places to donate items
When it comes to donating items, think about charities, community groups, shelters and schools. Knowing that items are helping others can often make them easier to let go of.
When my grandmother passed away, we donated her wedding dress to the local museum. Grandma had been a school teacher before her marriage, and Grandpa’s family had homesteaded there, so they were well-known in the community. Later, I donated a set of antique books to the museum as well, and shared more of Grandma’s story to go with her wedding dress.
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