A few months after we started dating, my husband invited me to the annual formal event hosted at a local hotel by his university fraternity. I knew exactly what I wanted to wear: my high school grad dress. The pale green dress has a V-neck, princess seams that flaunt my figure, and a flowing, ankle-length skirt.
On the night of the formal, I walked up the steps of his frat house and stepped through the door. I’d already shrugged out of my coat before he swung around, and the look on his face was all I needed. That night, I felt like a princess, not just because of what I wore, but because of the way he looked at me.
I don’t always feel that beautiful, however, and I don’t always dress for him. Gone are the days when I’d agonize over what to wear to university in case I ran into him that day, or even the days when I dressed up and did my hair carefully because I was going out with him later. He’s seen me at both my best and my worst. Now, what usually matters is what’s comfortable and accessible for nursing—so my go-to outfit is jeans and a stretch top.
On occasion, when I’ve gotten a babysitter and planned a date, I’ll dash to the door to leave with him and he’ll look at me and ask, “You’re not going to change?” I have lots of excuses: it’s cold out, I’m tired, we ran out of time.
What he needs to know, though, is that he’s still worth the effort to dress up, that I want to look pretty for him. Date nights are a great time to wear that dress I can’t wear when I’m out with the baby. Even if we’re not out on a date, though, I can try to dress for him.
Nurture Your Marriage Now
As moms, we spend a lot of time taking care of our kids. Too often, that translates into not taking care of ourselves—or our marriages. Most days, I just throw on whatever happens to be clean and comfy and get on with my day.
While motherhood requires a lot of effort and energy, it’s important that we keep nurturing our marriages. And one way to do that is to dress for your husband. I don’t know many husbands who complain about what their wives wear, but I do know that he appreciates it when I put some effort into wearing something he likes.
There are plenty of jokes on social media about frumpy moms and how we let ourselves go after having kids. I’ve got my favourite jeans and T-shirts—clothes that are comfortable while I’m hanging out with my kids. I put on makeup so rarely that when I do, my daughters and husband comment on it.
So I get it. Motherhood is a full-time job and then some. What I look like may take second place to keeping the kids alive (or keeping myself sane).
Taking a few minutes to dress for your husband isn’t just about him, either. You’ll feel better too. It can be fun to remember those heady dating days, when just holding hands with him made your heart thump harder.
Plan a date and pull out one of your favourite dresses from the closet (dust it if you need to!) or find a new dress he’d like. Put the kids to bed early and wear something fun while you have dinner just with him.
Dress for Your Husband in the Bedroom
It’s also fun to dress for him in the bedroom. This is another place where I fall into the comfy rut. I’ve got my soft, cozy pyjamas and my side of the bed and that pillow feels oh-so-soft after a long day as a mom. I like my routines, but he gets bored. An easy way to spice it up in the bedroom is just to change what you’re wearing.
Need some ideas here? Check out Honouring Intimates. This Christian lingerie company makes it easy to add some sizzle to your marriage. I hate walking past lingerie stores in the mall and being confronted with all the nudity, much less stepping inside. Honouring Intimates offers easy, comfortable online shopping, as all their products are displayed without nudity.
As a Christian-based company, Honoring Intimates is dedicated to bringing the fun back to God’s gift of the marriage bed. We do this by offering gorgeous lingerie and more through our nudity-free website.
When I saw some of their posts on social media, I reached out to them about doing a review. They agreed to send me a sample box. (If you like getting surprises in the mail like this, check out the subscription boxes from Honoring Intimates!)
When the box arrived, I texted my husband to say, “Just got a product review that you’re really going to like. :)” When he got home, he looked around for something new and asked, “So what’s this review you’re doing?” I said (with a grin), “Oh, that’s for later.” Instantly he was curious, as most of my reviews involve the kids or the whole family.
When we got the kids to bed and I finished cleaning up the kitchen, I asked him, “Black or white?” He still didn’t know what I was talking about and I was having lots of fun with the surprise!
Often, I’m too exhausted by the end of the day to do much more than review the day with him or plan the rest of our week. Having this surprise up my sleeve was exciting and made me look forward to the evening, instead of just wanting to crash. This is when it’s thrilling to dress for your husband!
More ideas for spicing up the bedroom:
- hang a piece of lingerie in your bathroom or bedroom for him to see when he gets home from work. You’ll both have fun looking forward to the end of the evening!
- text him something mysterious like I did (though you may need to be more obvious than me!). If he likes surprises, let him know you’re planning something…
- shop online with him and let him pick some lingerie for you to wear. (Honoring Intimates has men’s boxers too!)
- order a few things to surprise him (like I did) and then ask him what colour or “long or short?” or a similarly vague question. He’ll have fun anticipating what you’re going to come out in!
- put on some lingerie and then wear your usual pyjamas or robe… until you climb into bed with him and surprise him with what you’re wearing underneath!
If you’re looking for more ideas on marital intimacy, check out the Honoring Intimates blog. They’ve got some great posts there. Plus, if you have a friend who’s about to get married, bless her with a lingerie shower! One of my girlfriends requested this when she got married, so the rest of us in our group followed suit when we each got married. I would have never done this if she hadn’t, but it was a lot of fun!
Lingerie is a great gift idea for an anniversary, Valentine’s Day, his birthday or Christmas. (Just don’t open it in front of the kids!) We’re celebrating 12 years this spring (an even dozen!) so I might be saving a couple pieces from my box for that night. (wink wink!) Add a bottle of wine, a scented candle, or a marriage book to the gift for more fun.
It’s Not Just about Him
I know that sometimes, this can feel like another thing on your daily to-do list. Feed the kids, wash the dishes, wipe the table, put them in pyjamas, brush their teeth, tuck them in, turn out the lights, dress for your husband, get it on in the bedroom… but it’s not just about him.
Moms, when we take care of ourselves, we feel better about ourselves. I’ve been trying, over the last few months, to put a bit more effort into doing my hair and wearing something nice. It’s not just about him; it’s also about how I feel about myself.
When I feel like that frumpy, exhausted mom in the social media memes… then I just want to crawl into bed and ignore him. When I feel pretty, even if it’s just because I brushed my hair and put on some lipstick, then I feel much more like interacting with him.
And when I plan a surprise for him, or know I’ve got something special hidden in my drawer, then I’m not just a mama with stretch marks and some baby fat hiding around my middle. I’m that girl who still makes him grin at me with that glint in his eyes, like he did back when were dating.
You can find Honoring Intimates on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram and Twitter. They offer free shipping on US orders over $20. Drop by their website to browse their store or check out the latest sale.
As protecting your mind is as important as strengthening your marriage, there are no inappropriate images on the Honoring Intimates site and we use mannequins to display our lingerie. In addition, prior to shipping, we remove unseemly manufacturer tags and instead include our own tag with a verse from the Song of Solomon. We do this because we want our customers to have no fear as they seek to enhance marital bliss!
Do you like to dress for your husband? What tips would you share for nurturing your marriage?
I received a selection of lingerie from Honoring Intimates for this post; all opinions expressed are my own.