Woman to Woman

One of the things that stood out to me in reading Rediscovering Birth was how often, in other countries around the world, childbirth becomes a gathering of women—the birthing woman surrounded by her closest friends and family. It seems typical of our North American society that we labour relatively alone; most women I know have only their husbands and perhaps a doula with them, other than the doctor and nurses. And I said that I wanted to birth that way, but I’ve come to appreciate the support of other women during birth.

Encouragement

I spent several hours on the phone with some of my mommy friends in the last week before Lily was born. One of my friends, whose daughter is the same age as Sunshine, has also battled a hospital to have the natural childbirth experience she wanted. We were on the same page about avoiding interventions and so her support and understanding of my stress and fear about what could happen at the hospital were a huge encouragement.

The Doula

I waffled until the last minute about whether or not to get a doula, feeling at first that she’d be another stranger in the birthing room. The day before I went into labour, I decided another support person would be helpful, and so I called a doula my mother-in-law knew. She was not only available, but extremely excited to be asked to help. While there were times when I laboured alone or pulled into “labour-land,” I knew she and my husband were there, ready to give me support or to offer comfort measures.

A Blog Buddy

My biggest source of support came from a place entirely unexpected: a blog buddy. I first started reading Nat’s blog shortly after I began my own blog. Her daughter is a bit older than Sunshine and we share an interest in natural childbirth, among other things. While my first birth experience was everything I wanted it to be (at the time), Nat’s was everything she didn’t want. When she read about my birth frustrations on my blog and emailed me, I was more than happy to chat. She shared information and advice she had gathered in her birth journey, helping me process my questions and worries and challenging me to demand the birthing experience I wanted.

As my due date approached and I grew more worried about the doctor’s threat to induce, Nat dropped a package in the mail for me. Unfortunately, Lily arrived before the package, which came the Monday after her birth. As I read it, I was moved by her eloquence and thoughtfulness. When she first talked about birthing beads on her blog, I thought “neat but whatever.” Now, as she sent me my own set, I realized how powerful they could be, how much it would have meant to wear them during labour, to have that visual reminder of another woman’s support and prayers during the toughest times of the birthing.