I stared at my computer screen, then at the story laying beside my keyboard, and tried to think of what else I should tell the author to help her revise her story. Just outside the den door, the girls played with their stuffies and strollers. As I put my hands back to my keyboard, a wail arose from Lily. I drew in a deep breath when Sunshine responded with a wail of her own. I glanced at the clock. 4 pm.
Instead of trying to sort out who’d done what, I asked, “Do you girls want to go for a walk?”
The wailing stopped. Then enthusiastic shouts erupted and they made a beeline for the door. We all needed to get out of the house. I was going cross-eyed from staring at the computer and they were getting bored with each other’s company. Lily had been resisting all attempts to be put down for a nap lately, but perhaps she’d fall asleep on a walk.
I saved my file, turned off the computer, and followed them down the hallway. In a few minutes, we’d found socks, donned coats, and stepped outside. I lifted Lily into the Ergo and put Sunshine in the stroller and we set off down the path. Within five minutes of walking and sucking her soother, Lily was fast asleep. Sunshine talked for about ten minutes longer, commenting on the passing scenery and the joggers and the birds we saw, and then also fell silent. I kept up my speed-walk pace, steering her stroller around mud puddles and over curbs, and enjoyed the silence and fresh air.
As we came around the last corner of the trail, Lily woke up and began howling. Her soother had disappeared. I had no idea how long ago it had fallen out of her mouth, so I wasn’t going back for it. Sunshine began whining as well, and I told them, “We’re almost home. Just hang in there.”
They didn’t want to trade places, so I kept walking, now feeling like whining myself. At home, I got them snacks and started making supper and thought about the soother problem.
We had two other soothers in the house (pictured above), but Lily refused to use them. She had one favourite soother—the one I’d bought when I melted her other soothers—and that was the only soother she’d accept. I’d noticed, in the months before losing this soother, that she was using it much less. It stayed on top of the wardrobe by her crib, and most nights she went to sleep by nursing and didn’t even use the soother. So maybe it didn’t matter that the soother was gone.
That was about a month before Christmas. Other than one night with Daddy, when Lily wanted her soother and he couldn’t find it because I’d forgotten to mention it got lost (clearly I wasn’t very worried about it), she hasn’t really missed it. Even when Grandma gave her a soother at Christmas, Lily just looked at it.
In a way, I find myself relieved it didn’t turn into the big fight we had with Sunshine to get rid of her soother. In other ways, it makes me notice how much my baby girl is growing up.
4 Comments
donett – I think as parents we each have to decide when is the best place to teach our children certain things, and what is the best way that they’ll listen to that. A very giving child might like the idea of passing her soothers on to another child. I talked with several parents about soothers and how they weaned their children while I was thinking about Sunshine’s soother habit. In both cases, something else (losing/melting the soother) was the actual impetus for my decision to stop using it. I shared this simply as a story, a milestone in Lilibet’s life, not as a “this is how you should get your child over her soother.” 🙂 I realize every child and parent will hit do things in their own way, and that’s the way it should be.
I sense you have always been honest with your children. They know this and will react to it in positive ways. I realize being honest is the most appropriate method.
For other parents who haven’t instilled this characteristic in their children, there are times where being honest seems too hard. They come to your wits end on how to end a scenerio and succum to what ‘might’ possibly work.
I feel we have to be careful in how we view each others approach and result. Lasting friendships: sometimes have to agree to disagree on the handling of certain issues.
Also, From personal experience we have to be careful how we view and comment about issues of the moment — because — we don’t know exactly what our future holds and how we will always react or respond.
donett – don’t agree with what? I’ve heard of moms trying the cut-the-end-off-the-soother method and the child refusing that. I think perhaps being honest with your child and simply saying “you are too big for this now” (in Sunshine’s case) is better than coming up with a story to get rid of the soothers. In Lilibet’s case, if she hadn’t already seemed disconnected from the soother, I would have replaced it. Since she didn’t seem to care, it was a good opportunity to let it go.
On the soother topic: I don’t agree with all this. I found some amusing. Info. I gleaned from a magazine article.
..cut the tip off while the child is sleeping. Leave close to the cat. Blame the cat.
..cut the tip off (by accident?) as you are working on other things in the kitchen. Don’t buy new one.
..**arrange with a friend to bring your child over with their soothers. The child donates the used soothers to the — new baby in this friends home. The child feels grown up and proud to be the donater. The donaters mother has given the baby’s mother — new soothers — before this event.