Supporting a teenager through a mental health challenge can be overwhelming. Adolescence is a time of immense change, and sometimes, your teen may struggle with feelings of anxiety, depression, or stress. Knowing how to help during these tough times is essential. Here are practical steps to help your teen through a tough mental episode.
Seek Professional Help When Needed
If you notice signs that your teen’s mental health is deteriorating—such as a drastic change in behavior, thoughts of self-harm, or withdrawal from social connections—it’s crucial to seek help from a therapist or counselor. For example, this summer I noticed that one of my teens was spending a lot of time in her room and didn’t seem very interested in seeing her friends. I brought it up with her therapist, asking her to do a mental health assessment to screen for possible depression. This led to a few gentle discussions with my daughter about her mental health and self-care.
Look more at https://helpyourteennow.com/ for additional resources and expert advice on supporting your teenager through mental health challenges. A mental health professional can provide your teen with tools and resources to manage their emotions more effectively and help you navigate difficult conversations about seeking professional support. Remember, mental health is just as important as physical health. There is no shame in asking for help. Just as you’d see a doctor if your child had an injury, so you should see a therapist if your child is struggling mentally or emotionally.
Acknowledge their Struggle
The first thing you need to do when your teen is facing a mental health challenge is to acknowledge what they are going through. Don’t minimize their feelings or dismiss their concerns. Let them know that you understand their struggle and that it’s okay to feel how they’re feeling. Validating their emotions creates a supportive environment where they feel heard and understood. Simply saying, “I see you’re struggling right now, and I’m here for you,” can make a significant difference.
Avoid Dismissing their Feelings
It’s natural to want to offer solutions or make your teen feel better. As a problem solver, I tend to jump straight to what we can do to solve the problem. However, sometimes, the best approach is to simply acknowledge their emotions. Saying things like, “It’s not a big deal” or “You’ll get over it” can make them feel invalidated and alone. Instead, acknowledge their feelings with empathy by saying, “I can see this is hard for you right now.”
Another way to acknowledge your teen’s feeling is to ask them what would help them right now. It can help them to be able to recognize and acknowledge their own emotions, and then to state what they need. Around here, comfort items include fuzzy blankets, hot tea, and chocolate mug cakes with a favourite book or movie; on other days, we go for a hike or head to the beach. Sometimes, a mother-daughter shopping trip with a stop at a favourite cafe can help a teen who is feeling overwhelmed and alone. Reassure your teen that you are there for her, no matter what she needs.
Offer Consistent Reassurance
Teens can often feel isolated during tough mental episodes, especially if they feel misunderstood by others. Reassure them that their emotions are valid, and remind them that it’s okay to experience mental health challenges. Let them know you’re there to support them, no matter how long it takes for them to work through it.
Understand the Importance of Timing
Sometimes, your teen may not be ready to talk about their struggles. It’s crucial to acknowledge their pain without pressuring them to open up. Let them know that you’re available to listen whenever they feel ready. Just offering a safe space to be themselves can provide them with a sense of relief.
Emotions can be difficult and each of us processes our emotions in different ways. I have one teenager who likes to rant about whatever happened that day and another teenager who tends to simply retreat. It’s taken me time as a mother to understand their needs and how to respond when I can see them struggling. Neither of them wants me to barge in and push for details or to suggest solutions, though, so I’ve learned to try to let them know I’m available when they need me.
Validate Their Unique Experience
Each person’s mental health journey is different, and your teen’s struggles may not always be easy to understand. Avoid comparing their situation to others or minimizing it because “someone else has it worse.” Acknowledge that their experience is unique to them and let them know that you respect and support their feelings, no matter how different or difficult they may seem.
Encourage Open Communication
Create an open, non-judgmental space where your teen feels comfortable talking about their feelings. Avoid pushing them to share if they aren’t ready, but let them know you’re available to listen whenever they want to talk. Sometimes, just being present without offering immediate solutions can help your teen feel supported. Asking open-ended questions like “How are you feeling today?” or “What’s on your mind?” can encourage conversation without putting pressure on them.
Because we live in a busy home, I’ve had to be very deliberate about creating space for my teens to talk to me. Often, that space comes late at night when their younger siblings are in bed—and I’m tired and ready for bed myself. However, my teen is ready to talk so I make space for her. Sometimes, driving to and from their activities gives us time and space in which to talk about what is going on in their lives. I also frequently tell my teens that if they need to talk, I will make space for them, whether that’s putting on a movie for younger siblings so that we can have a cup of tea together in my room, or going out for a walk or coffee date ourselves so we can have some quiet time together without interruptions.
Another tool that has helped us communicate is a mother-daughter journal. Both of my older girls have a journal in which they can write to me and I can respond. Sometimes, they’ve written pages and pages about something in their lives. Other times, it’s a short note to let me know that they need some time with me. Recently, one of my teens wrote me a long email about something that had happened. This gave us space to review and talk about how she was feeling, and also allowed us to share it with her therapist, who could help her work through her feelings.
Identify Triggers
Understanding what triggers your teen’s mental health episodes is crucial for offering appropriate support. Pay attention to patterns or events that might contribute to their distress, such as school stress, social media, or conflicts with friends. Once you have an idea of what might be causing their mental strain, you can help them identify coping strategies or adjust their environment to reduce these triggers. Identifying triggers can be a process, so be patient and observe for changes over time.
Again, this needs to come from your teen. It doesn’t help my girls when I step in and say, “You should do this and this to avoid that.” Something that looks like a problem to me may not be a problem to them, and something that is a huge problem to them may be unnoticed by me. This is where I need to learn to simply listen, to have my teen identify what the problem is, and then to help with brainstorming how they can solve that problem and what I can do to help them with that.
For example, messy bedrooms has often been a source of tension between siblings in our home, and also affects mental health. However, it hasn’t helped for me to sweep in and blitz clean for my older kids; that has just created resentment. Instead, I’ve let my kids know that I’m happy to help when they want to sort or declutter or just fold the laundry sitting on their floor. I can help them develop systems to maintain their rooms as they want, but the motivation to do so has to come from them.
Provide Structure and Routine
When your teen is going through a mental health episode, they might feel out of control. Providing a sense of structure can help them feel more secure. Encourage a routine with set times for schoolwork, meals, exercise, and relaxation. Routine brings stability and can prevent your teen from feeling overwhelmed by a lack of structure. Ensure that there is also time for breaks to avoid burnout.
Encourage Healthy Coping Mechanisms
Help your teen develop healthy coping strategies to manage their emotions. Encourage activities like journaling, physical exercise, mindfulness, or engaging in creative hobbies. Coping mechanisms like these can reduce stress and improve emotional regulation. Avoid turning to unhealthy outlets, such as substance use or isolating behavior, as a way to manage emotions. Modeling positive coping mechanisms yourself can also inspire them to adopt similar practices.
Helping your teenager through a tough mental episode takes patience, understanding, and active support. By acknowledging their struggles, fostering open communication, identifying triggers, providing structure, encouraging healthy coping strategies, and seeking professional help when necessary, you can guide them through difficult times. Your support can help them develop the resilience and coping skills they need to overcome challenges and improve their mental well-being.
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